Wednesday, December 28, 2011

12 Easy Tips for a Blissful Relationship by YourTango.com | Love + Sex

One of the most common questions we hear is, "How do we make our relationship work?" The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a while, can start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because they work. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think: 

1. Mind your manners. "Please," "thank you" and "you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don't take him for granted. 

2. Variety is the spice of life. Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. Video Advice: My Wife Won't Tell Me Her Fantasies 

3. The couple that plays together, stays together. Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV does not count) and make that a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains... whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together. 

4. Fight right. In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind. Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry. 

5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. No one likes demands (unless you're in a BDSM role play), but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice." 

6. Two heads are better than one. Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise program together. Fun And Free: The Exercise Date 

7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends. 

8. Sound it out. It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects-money, religion, fidelity, raising kids-will not be the most fun you've had, but it'll be valuable. 

9. Laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is, in the long run, better than getting angry. It's is just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.

10. Keep your eyes on the prize. Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal-to be in a happy, functioning partnership-you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing.

11. Quitters never win. Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.

12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going... to therapy. Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Bride Song by: Christina Rossetti

Too late for love, too late for joy,
Too late, too late!
You loitered on the road too long,
You trifled at the gate:
The enchanted dove upon her branch
Died without a mate;
The enchanted princess in her tower
Slept, died, behind the grate;
Her heart was starving all this while
You made it wait.

Ten years ago, five years ago,
One year ago,
Even then you had arrived in time,
Though somewhat slow;
Then you had known her living face
Which now you cannot know:
The frozen fountain would have leaped,
The buds gone on to blow,
The warm south wind would have awaked
To melt the snow.

Is she fair now as she lies?
Once she was fair;
Meet queen for any kingly king,
With gold-dust on her hair,
Now these are poppies in her locks,
White poppies she must wear;
Must wear a veil to shroud her face
And the want graven there:
Or is the hunger fed at length,
Cast off the care?

We never saw her with a smile
Or with a frown;
Her bed seemed never soft to her,
Though tossed of down;
She little heeded what she wore,
Kirtle, or wreath, or gown;
We think her white brows often ached
Beneath her crown,
Till silvery hairs showed in her locks
That used to be so brown.

We never heard her speak in haste;
Her tones were sweet,
And modulated just so much
As it was meet:
Her heart sat silent through the noise
And concourse of the street.
There was no hurry in her hands,
No hurry in her feet;
There was no bliss drew nigh to her,
That she might run to greet.

You should have wept her yesterday,
Wasting upon her bed:
But wherefore should you weep today
That she is dead?
Lo we who love weep not today,
But crown her royal head.
Let be these poppies that we strew,
Your roses are too red:
Let be these poppies, not for you
Cut down and spread.


Monday, December 26, 2011

Remember by Christina Rossetti


Remember me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land
When you can no more hold me by the hand
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.


Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned
Only remember me: you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray
Yet if you should forget me for a while.


And afterwards remember do not grieve
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Lost Dream

Deep within my thoughts 
Lies my soul and heart 
As I stroll along the sands
Beneath the heaven of night
Picturing my perfect companion
Praying we will find each other.

His vision so beautifully clear within my heart
As I stare at the stars above
Which reminds me of his eyes 
So masterfully created and filled with love, happiness and dreams to be found
With one glance, my life is change 
And I realized that purity still exists in a polluted world.

His aura can be felt from life times away
He is made from the same feelings of which my dreams are
Born with silk for skin and a smile 
Which is contagious 
No other can compare.

My perfect guy still exists in this world
And I know someday
I will find him.